Blog
“‘I Have Anger Issues'”
One of my favorite kids, Sam, came in to see me recently. Nearly six and starting first grade, I’ve been tracking Sam since he was three. Sam’s had issues with what was being called, “behavioral self-regulation.” Mostly, Sam had difficulty coping with the word "no."...
“Does Spelling Matter?”
Let’s say your 12-year-old sixth grader spells the following words: (brief) bref (should) shood (grown) gron (success) susess (educate) edcccate (result) resolt (kitchen) kicten Then the child writes the following story to a prompt: “Once a o pon a...
“Floaters”
A common concern raised by parents (well, mostly the moms) is their child’s lack of what they label as “executive function deficits (EFD).” With EFDs there’s always the underlying question of whether these issues are a biproduct of immaturity, skill deficits or a...
Turning Down the Parental Heat
Parents do various back flips to address meltdowns and school avoidance. Mostly, parental responses are reactive, delivered in the heat of the moment (e.g., “That’s it!!! You’re not allowed on your iPad for the next two weeks,” after the child has rolled around on...
The Baby is Birthed!!!
I am excited to let you know that the new baby, "Beyond the Power Struggle: A Guide for Parents of Challenging Kids," has been officially birthed!!! After endless doing, redoing, tweaking, feeling frustrated with it, filing it away, bringing it back out again, I am...
Amelia Ignores Her Mom
Eight-year-old Amelia goes about her day mostly ignoring her mom, Andrea. While Andrea tries to get Amelia to comply, she largely talks to her in an insecure and hesitant voice, with words that do not get Amelia's attention. (“Now, come on Amelia, how about we start...
“Beyond the Power Struggle: A Guide for Parents of Challenging Kids”
Exciting News!!!!! Over the next few weeks, my latest book, "Beyond the Power Struggle: A Guide For Parents of Challenging Kids" is scheduled to be released. If you are a beleaguered parent or know a beleaguered parent, you might want to get a copy. Here's a link to...
“Beyond the Power Struggle” (Structure & Leverage)
As noted in the previous blog, with children showing challenging behaviors causing you tremendous stress, you were encouraged to adopt a mantra helping you remain in your center, as you speak one “Didja” (e.g., “Didja you do your homework?”) after another. The mantra...
“They Need Structure…I Need Leverage”
Following up on last week’s Selznick Poll discussion on what percentage of boys show signs of “executive function” deficits (click here: See "A Hypothetical Poll") ,let’s emphasize some points: • Using a bell-shape curve perspective, if about 85% of the boys in the...
“A Hypothetical Poll”
Let’s take a random group of 100 boys, roughly between ages 10 – 14. You know nothing about them, but their moms are asked a simple poll question: On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the most negative) how would you rank your son on his taking initiative, organizing...
“‘Come on, Doc. Tell It to me Straight'” (#Assessment)
Whenever I do an assessment I know that in many ways I am swimming against the tide in my approach and perspective. Hopelessly mired in identifying the the “soup-pot” of variables interacting, I rarely see things as one way or another. Parents are typically focused on...