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With the arrival of newborn Emmett Gaetano Selznick last weekend, an official new chapter begins in our lives.

As I said a while ago, in a previous blog on grandparenting, I’m going to try and do my best to do what grandparents are supposed to do – spoil and “zip it and clip it” (not easy for me).

As loyal readers of this blog know, I do my best to dispense a range of advice for parents anxious about their child’s struggles.  ( I reflect on the fact (and chuckle to myself as I write this) that  my son unsubscribed to this blog a number of years ago.)

So, let’s raise a collective glass to young Emmett Gaetano and wish him good things.  Here’s hoping he doesn’t give his teachers too much stuff, while he gives his father a hefty dose.  (Hey, like father like son, no?  We certainly got our share in the raising of Emmett’s father!)

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In last week’s post which drew on the perspective that for a couple thousand years adults have been shaking their head  (I know I have) on the out of control (unruly) nature of childhood (“What’s the Matter With Kids” ).

Loyal reader and friend Stan commented on the post:

“Brilliant set of quote demonstrating the timelessness of the antipathy the older generation always seems to feel toward the youth of the day…Perhaps the elders are simply jealous of the youth , energy, vitality and projected length of their future life.  Kudos to the Shut Down-Learner research staff  – they deserve lots of credit (and perhaps a raise?) for digging up these oh-so-appropriate quotations!!!”

Well, Stan, since the writing of these blogs is a labor of love, the staff will have to wait for their raise.

In the meantime, we of the older generation will continue looking at the younger generation through a jaundiced eye, especially with their seeming addictions to screens above all other facets of life.

(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: http://www.shutdownlearner.com.

In my corner of the universe most of the issues that are brought to me include some variation on the following:

• Struggling with reading (and writing)
• Difficulty with attention and what is commonly referred to as “sustained mental effort”
• Low level “executive functioning”
• Poor Frustration tolerance
• Disconnected/Shut-Down/Unmotivated
• Ignoring Rules/Social Problems
• Parent frustration with the school/special education

There are many other issues that parents may be encountering with their children, but these are the common ones that land on my doorstep.

Over the next few weeks we will weave through these categories with a Selznick Primer of  Struggling Children, while doing my best to offer a thumbnail overview and a few essentials for you to consider

Please understand that these blogs represent my view.  I am not presenting them as absolute truths, but offering my perspective.

It is always my mission to talk to parents, whether through the blogs or face-to-face, in down-to earth, plain language with as little jargon as possible.

It is my impression that there is a great deal of misconception and misinformation out there, and I do my best to try and counter these.

Feel free to disagree, pushback or raise questions.  In fact, I would welcome those, but you need to do this through email (rselznick615@gmail.com), as the comment feature has been disabled because of spamming.  (In future posts related to the category being discussed I  may post some of the questions, anonymously of course.)

If you are a long time reader of this blog and have come along some 500+ blogs later, thanks for staying with me over the years.

If you’re relatively new to these, welcome.

Hope you enjoy the ride.

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***Please note:  Comments are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments.  (See below.)

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: http://www.shutdownlearner.com.

Those of you following this blog for some time know there are some recurring themes.

For others  newer to these posts, I will help to bring you up to speed with my top ten list of things that pluck my nerves:

1. The LD-Discrepancy Model: Easily the number one issue that gets under my skin is the LD-Discrepancy model used in many states (New Jersey being one) to classify children in special education as learning disabled.  If you want a primer on the LD-Discrepancy model, this is a great overview: (https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-discrepancy-model-what-you-need-to-know). 
2. Pathologizing Childhood: Not all child problems are neurobiological (“brain-based”) disabilities.   Some issues are “out of the head.”  (Perhaps the worksheet is poorly written with dreadful comprehension questions.) 

3. “Diagnosing” ADHD Based on Small Data: Checking a few items (e.g., “Easily distractible”) on something like the Vanderbilt Scales given in the pediatrician’s office is not enough. 

4. “We can’t diagnose dyslexia – you need to see a neurologist.” Parents are reflexively told this when they raise the issue of dyslexia.  Seriously, how many neurologists or pediatricians that you know give a battery of reading, spelling and writing tests necessary to assess dyslexia?  I work in a pediatric department with many specialists.  I don’t know any. 

5. “This or That Thinking:” “I just want to get to the bottom of it,” parents will say.  “I just don’t know if it’s ADD or laziness.”  Truth is it’s almost never,  “this or that.”  With most kids it’s almost always, “this and that and that.” 

6. Dyslexia Nation: How did the array of reading problems all come around to dyslexia?  A child could have a mild problem with reading that can be helped with good tutoring. This does not a dyslexic make. 

7. “The Spectrum:” I’m always puzzled when people refer to “The Spectrum,”  as in, “He’s on the spectrum.”  Which one???  All the issues of concern are on a spectrum.  “The Spectrum” suggests there’s one and one only. 

8. “Hey, Bud” Parenting: I hate to break the news to parents out there, but they are your children.  You don’t set limits with your buddies.  You set limits with children.

9. Overplaying 504 Plans: Listen up, gang. The reality of 504 Plans is that they do not do that much.   They are not meant to offer services, but basic accommodations.     

10. Screen Addicts: I get it.  Times change.  I don’t get the newspaper delivered any more.  I have my phone with me most of the time and am in a froth when I can’t locate it.  With that said, kids care about little else than their screen time.   They are becoming addicted.   We’re not facing it.

 Takeaway Point

OK…once, again, I’ve vented my spleen.  Problem is I don’t feel any better.

Well, it’s still cheaper than real therapy!!!

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: http://www.shutdownlearner.com.

I don’t know how to describe it in more clinical or scientific terms, but there are a bunch of kids I’ve assessed recently who seem to me to lack, “oomph.”

While “oomph” may be one of those words that are not currently in modern usage, I think it conveys an important issue that is not often discussed.

With a low level of “oomph”  the child comes across with low-energy and very little “push” behind them and the  tasks they are completing.  Typically, parents will be checking the box that says, “lacks sustained mental effort.”

With these children, I think of them as having a low “OQ,” a term I made up (i.e., “Oomph Quotient.”)

Let’s take Jamie, an 8 year old whose parents are worried about how he conducts himself in his day-to-day life.

When I meet Jamie I do my best to connect with him, but he’s not buying what I’m selling.  Giving me  blasé’ (“must I do this”) fist bump with a meager smile as a starting point, he conveys that he can’t wait to be out of there.

When the assessment starts I ask Jamie to write down three things that he likes to do.  Instead of writing,  he says something in a mumble like, “I don’t like to do too much – video games.”  (Nothing gets written down.)

Later, on a task where I have Jamie copy different shape and designs on the page and to put blocks together in patterns, he goes through the motions, but there is no attempt to correct himself when a design or block pattern is obviously wrong.

The sense is that the only thing on Jamie’s mind that matters to him is getting done with this annoyance so he can go back to his screen time at home or on the phone that his parents have given him on his birthday (with no strings attached).

It would be one thing if what was observed was unusual for Jamie, a function of not liking me or the assessment situation, but this occurs on a daily basis his parents are getting their buttons pushed by it.

In short, Jamie has a low “OQ.”

Certainly, many kids with a low OQ are diagnosed as  ADHD or “ADD”  and perhaps medication can give them a little bit more oomph, but my sense is that it is deeper than we are owning and understanding.

To my knowledge there is no easy fix to remedy a low “OQ.”

A good first step is to recognize it for what it usually is – a total disinterest in anything beyond what is giving the child pleasure (which usually comes in the form of a screen interaction).

Once it is recognized for what it is, honest conversations can take place between parent and child about what the low OQ means and how much of a problem it is.

Starting to link up very important messages that question the free access to screen pleasure would be a good next step.

The child has to start understanding the basic formula of “you give and you get,” as the child is typically stuck in “you don’t give and you still get.”

Copyright, 2021 www.shutdownlearner.com
Questions or topics email Dr. Selznick.  Not in the South Jersey area? For a free 15 Minute Consultation, contact Dr. Selznick: email – rselznick615@gmail.com.

                           “Salmon must swim upstream against the current or flow of the stream.”

Over the years, I have been sensitive to the impact that mentors or other inspirational figures have had on shaping me.  I have been particularly drawn to the “salmon swimmers,” those who go against the flow.

This week’s blog takes a departure from talking about children and their struggles, to acknowledge two giant salmon swimmers that recently passed away.  From totally unrelated fields, they each had a large impact on me, even though I never had the pleasure of knowing them personally.

The first was Dr. William Carey, a pediatrician from the Philadelphia area with an international reputation.

As noted in the recent obituary in the Philadelphia Inquirer, Dr. Carey was a champion of understanding a child’s temperament as a primary variable in terms of the child’s behavioral tendencies.

The obituary stated, “Dr. Carey pushed back against the assertions by medical professionals that unwelcome behavior in children could be traced mostly to brain function abnormalities.  He argued strongly against what he called the over-prescription of Ritalin (and other stimulants) to calm hyperactive children, including those with ADHD.”

As Dr. Carey said, “I think the current diagnosis of ADHD is a mess and has been wildly overdone.  It blames a variety of symptoms entirely on the child’s brain and ignores the child’s environment and the interaction with it.”

“Ways should be found,” he said, “to reduce the stressful interactions and to teach kids coping skills.”

In the same week, another hero I revered passed, the journalist,  Pete Hamill.

I became a huge fan of Pete’s columns during the Watergate era (yes, I’m that old) when he was a columnist for the New York Post (which was a very different paper than it is today).

Attending a high school in downtown Manhattan, we were allowed to leave the building during the lunch period and go wherever we wanted.

More often than not, I ended up in the local delicatessen (by myself, I might add) with my New York Post in hand.  That was my version of a slice of heaven – a Manhattan deli, the New York Post and Pete Hamill.  It didn’t get much better than that.

I was so enamored with Pete that I had the paper delivered  to my college, even though it arrived four or five days after its publication (probably by Pony Express) as a daily newspaper .

In my professional career, I have always thought of myself as a bit of a “salmon swimmer.”   While in no way comparing myself to these giants, among others they gave me fuel to go against the tide.

May they rest in peace.

Copyright, 2020 www.shutdownlearner.com
Questions or topics email Dr. Selznick.  Not in the South Jersey area? For a free 15 Minute Consultation, contact Dr. Selznick: email – rselznick615@gmail.com

To purchase a signed copy of  “What To Do About Dyslexia: 25 Essential Concepts” & Dr. Selznick’s other books and to receive blog updates go to https://shutdownlearner.com.