Executive Functioning

ADHD…Maybe!

Practically every week I hear an array of  concerns regarding distractibility and inattentiveness.

There’s always the question lurking of, “Does my child have ADHD/ADD?”

While talking to parents I try and  broaden the narrative,  reviewing other factors that may be contributing to why a child is not consistently paying attention.

Before presuming a child has a neurological disorder such as ADHD that is typically diagnosed in the doctor’s office by checking certain items on the Vanderbilt Scales (the gold standard scales used by physicians), here are some factors to keep in mind:

  • Perhaps the work is too hard.  If it is, it will lead to inattention.
  • Perhaps the child is playing video games far too late in the evening and not getting enough sleep.
  • Related to the above, perhaps the child is addicted to video games leaving little in the tank for sustained mental effort (something that I am seeing much more).
  • Perhaps there’s been a lot of tension and fighting in the family that is unsettling to the child,  which will lead to distractibility.
  • Perhaps the teacher is not motivating, which can produce a lot of off-task behavior.
  • Perhaps the child  has “W.B.D.” (i.e., “Worksheet Burnout Disorder” – a term I made up and is being flooded by too many worksheets (or its on-line equivalent), leaving the child feeling disconnected and unmotivated.
  • Perhaps the child has significant reading deficits, making it difficult to pay attention and comprehend.  (This is an extremely important consideration.)
  • Perhaps there is a lot of distraction in the environment (whether it be the  classroom or at home) and the atmosphere does not lend itself to paying attention.
  • Perhaps the child is struggling with anxiety and the excessive worrying looks like inattention.
  • Perhaps the child is feeling like they are being excluded, as they go on  social media and see friends doing things that they weren’t included in.
  • Maybe the child has been made fun of or ridiculed, but no one really knows of it other than the child

Oh, yeah.  I almost forgot.

Perhaps the child has ADHD/ADD.

“The Power of Nonchalance” (#ADHD; #Executive Function Disorder)

Synonyms for “nonchalance:”   apathy, complacence, indifference, unconcern, torpor

Antonyms for “nonchalance:”  concerned, interested, motivated


A parent came to talk to me about her 14-year-old-son, Brett.  Previously “diagnosed” with ADHD of the inattentive variety, various stimulant medications have been tried with him without much benefit.

“Look,” the mom said, “I don’t really know if he’s ADD.  The doctor spent about 15 minutes with us after we completed this rating scale. I do know he’s nonchalant.  It’s like he’s just indifferent to everything, especially anything school-related and it’s driving me up a wall.”

(“Nonchalant.”  Now, that’s a word I don’t hear very often, certainly not used in clinical terms or descriptions.)

Upon meeting Brett, I knew exactly what the mom was saying.  It was a very long hour trying to find out what his point of view was on the topic.  It’s not easy to talk to someone who shows indifference and apathy.  Essentially, the session involved Brett having little to say with a fair amount of shrugging when asked various questions.

“All he cares about are his game systems and phone,” his mom nearly shouted in the session.  (All the while Brett sat their blasé’ and nonchalant.)

The mom’s frustration brought to mind a famous short story I had read many years ago by Herman Melville, called  “Bartleby, the Scrivener.”  (“Scrivener,” talk about a dated word.)

As I recall, Bartleby was the 19th century version of a paralegal working in a law office.  Whenever he was asked to do something by his office superior, Bartleby had a standard response – “I would prefer not to.”  Bartley basically did nothing and just stared out the window ignoring his boss with nonchalant indifference.

This, “I’d prefer not to,” position gave Bartleby a lot of power and resulted in making Bartleby’s boss bonkers.

Another example told to me was about 11-year-old Jackson who was asked to help his mom to pull weeds in preparation for some landscaping.

Since he was engaged with playing Grand Theft Auto, he was not interested in helping, offering his own version of,  “No, I’d prefer not to.”

With his stance, the mom’s anger thermometer skyrocketed while Jackson’s power increased.

Psychologists and other behavioral types will have all kinds of systems to try and get the motivation going in the right direction, but it’s a tough battle.

If you have a Bartleby, my best advice is to try and side-step the control battles  that inevitably ensue, as challenging as this may be may be.

Recognize that ultimately it’s your child’s choice whether to engage with the requested task or not.  You might want to have an honest sit down and speak in very direct tones delivering a clear message.

“Look, there’s no give and take here.  It’s all a one-way street.  Things you take for granted such as your phone and game system are paid for by us.  They are privileges, not rights like food and shelter.  Ultimately, it’s your choice.  However, unless things change we’re putting your game system and phone in our safe until you’ve earned the privileges back.  If you don’t want it to go that way, then choose differently.  Get in the game.  Either way is fine.”

Takeaway Point  

Go buy a safe if you don’t have one.

They come in handy when you need them.


Feel free to make comment below. 

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To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

 

“Ongoing Themes: #Dyslexia #ADHD #LD Discrepancy #504 #Parenting”

Those of you following this blog for some time know there are some recurring themes in these posts (that mostly irritate me).

For others  newer to these posts, I will help to bring you up to speed with some of the predominant ones.

  1. The LD-Discrepancy Model: Easily the number one issue that gets under my skin is the LD-Discrepancy model used in many states (New Jersey being one) to classify children in special education as learning disabled.  I discussed it in my recent blog post  (https://shutdownlearner.com/ineffective-inefficient-irrational-immoral-and-indefensible/), but if If you need a primer on the LD-Discrepancy model, this is a great overview: (https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-discrepancy-model-what-you-need-to-know). 
  2. Pathologizing Childhood: Not all child problems are neurobiological (i.e., “brain-based”) disabilities.   Some issues are just kids being kids. (Please see my blog on boy executive function deficits: https://shutdownlearner.com/?s=hypothetical ).  Also, sometimes the material being given to them is inappropriate to their level of reading ability.  That is not an “in the head” problem.  It’s a curriculum issue.
  3. “Diagnosing” ADHD Based on Small Data: Checking a few items (e.g., “Easily distractible….Inattentive, etc.”) on a rating scale like the Vanderbilt given in the pediatrician’s office is not enough.   There are a multitude of factors that could be producing the distractibility.  Many of these factors should be understood before putting a child on medication for ADHD.
  1. “We can’t diagnose dyslexia – you need to see a neurologist.” Parents are reflexively told this by the school when they raise concerns of dyslexia.   Seriously, how many neurologists or pediatricians that you know give a battery of reading, spelling and writing tests that are necessary to assess dyslexia?  At its core, dyslexia is a reading disability.  How can this be determined without a battery of reading measures?  Stop telling parents it is a medical condition.
  2. “This or That Thinking:” “I just want to get to the bottom of it,” parents will say.  “I just don’t know if it’s ADD or laziness.”   The problem as I see it is that there rarely is a bottom.  The truth is it’s almost never,  “this or that.”  With most kids it’s almost always, “this and that and that.”
  3. Overplaying 504 Plans: Listen up, gang. The reality of 504 Plans is that they do not do that much.  504s do not offer services, but basic accommodations (e.g., extended time).
  4. “Hey, Bud” Parenting: I hate to break the news to parents out there, but they are your children.  You don’t set limits with your buddies.  You set limits with children.
  5. Screen Addicts: I get it.  Times change.  I don’t get the newspaper delivered any more.  I have my phone with me most of the time and am in a froth when I can’t locate it.  With that said, kids care about little else than their screen time.   They are becoming addicted.   We’re not facing it.

 Takeaway Point:  I understand that some may think that I am just saying these things because I am at the “get off my lawn” stage of life.  Maybe it’s compounded by that fact, but I have been repeating these theme to parents for many years.

Perhaps getting it off my chest helps –  it’s still cheaper than real therapy!!!


Feel free to make comment below. 

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To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

 

“Floaters”

 

A common concern raised by parents (well, mostly the moms) is their child’s lack of what they label as “executive function deficits (EFD).”

With EFDs there’s always the underlying question of whether these issues are a biproduct of immaturity, skill deficits or a legitimate neurologically based disorder?

I’ve met a gazillion of these kids and by now I should have an answer to that question, but I’m embarrassed to admit I still am not sure.

What are the signs of  EFD?

A low level of  “sustained mental effort” is one of the big indicators. With low sustained mental effort, there may be a degree of reasonable effort put toward a task at the beginning, but this effort quickly fades.

Another sign of EFD is the characteristic of not being a “self-starter.”   That is, excessive parental (or teacher) reminders are needed to get started on a task.

Predominant disorganization, coupled with inattentiveness are other qualities pushing parents over the edge.

In basic terms, a good way to think of these kids is that they are “floaters.”  Effectively, there’s not much of a rudder steering them.  As the wind blows, so goes their boat.

Recently, I came upon an article called “ADHD & Executive Function Deficits:  Identical Twins or First Cousins.”

I think the title of the article sums up the dilemma pretty well.

What do you think?  Are you in the camp that these floaters represent more of a neurological disorder or a function of maturation or lack of skill.


Feel free to make comment below. 

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To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

“Beyond the Power Struggle” (Structure & Leverage)

As noted in the previous blog, with children showing challenging behaviors causing you tremendous stress, you were encouraged to adopt a mantra helping you remain in  your center, as you speak one “Didja” (e.g., “Didja you do your homework?”) after another.

The mantra  (“They need structure; I need leverage.”) is meant to keep things simple.

Of course, each child and family situation are different, but from what I can tell the leverage with modern kids really comes down to one thing – their screen usage.

Screen access (in whatever form) is the ruling passion, therefore it’s your leverage.

As I note in my soon to be released new book (yay!!!), “Beyond the Power Struggle: A Guide for Parents of Challenging Kids,”  without resorting to punishment you are encouraged to look at your child’s landscape of what they take for granted.

By about nine or ten or so, most kids have easy access to gaming systems, iPads, and many have their own phones.

For those children who are not sustaining mental effort, showing poor time management, ask yourself have they really earned the right to all of those screen distractions.  Are they really supporting your child’s “executive function deficits?”

While they gorge on Fortnite, TikTok or YouTube, and while you are exhausted trying to get your child to complete schoolwork or to do some reading  do you feel that things are out of whack?

My guess is the answer is a resounding, “Yes.”

Look at the family landscape.  What’s the structure?    Is it all one sided toward the child receiving pure pleasure while they give little in return?

Keep repeating, “They need structure! I need leverage.”


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To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

“They Need Structure…I Need Leverage”

Following up on last week’s Selznick Poll discussion on what percentage of boys show signs of “executive function” deficits (click here: See “A Hypothetical Poll”) ,let’s emphasize some points:

• Using a bell-shape curve perspective, if about 85% of the boys in the 10- to-15-year-old range show issues with organizing, taking initiative, paying attention, following through, and sustaining mental effort (the usual issues with executive functioning), then this puts them in an average for their age.

• Even though they’re in the norm and what would expected, that still leaves you exhausted and depleted with their embodiment of these qualities.

• Of this 85%, probably about 99.9% of them are addicted (i.e., to their various screens and gaming systems).

In response, you as parent are constantly bringing out the “Didja’s,” as in “Didja pack your bag,” “Didja do your homework,” “Didja you put your stuff away.”

It’s no wonder that you want to retreat to bed by 7:00!!!

What do these 85 percenters need?

While “executive function coaching” has its value, this group is still pretty immature to take advantage of it.
Keeping things simple, here are the two essentials that are needed for them and for you:

1. They need structure.
2. You need leverage.

Trust me, you can do a lot worse than tuning out all the noise out there and just reflecting on these two variables.

In fact, that can be the mantra you may want to  repeat to yourself – “They need structure; I need leverage. They need structure; I need leverage. They need structure; I need leverage.”

(More next blog.)


Feel free to make comment below.  To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

 

“A Hypothetical Poll”

Let’s take a random group of 100 boys, roughly between ages 10 – 14.

You know nothing about them, but their moms are asked a simple poll question:

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the most negative) how would you rank your son on his taking initiative, organizing himself, keeping track of assignments, following directions and paying attention?

What would be your guess of the percentage of these boys being rated 7 or higher?

Now, ask the same question of the girls.

(I know. I know.  I’m not supposed to generalize, but I will proceed ahead anyway.)

Here’s my guess as to the Selznick Poll results:

Boys:  85% (+/- five percentage points)

Girls: 30% (+/- five percentage points).

Presuming I’m correct within a margin of error, what are the implications of the poll?

Well, I have a parade of beleaguered parents who are doing everything they can (from positive reinforcement to more punitive approaches) to try and get their disorganized and lackadaisical sons more in the game, but nothing seems to move the needle.

When I talk to them about the hypothetical poll, I  usually see a moment of recognition that conveys something like, “Ah, I get it.  So what you’re telling me his behavior is not that unusual, that maybe he’s not as disordered as I thought – that it’s part of the typical boy makeup, a type of  boy immaturity. ”

“Exactly.  Right on the money! That’s my message to you. Understanding this can be quite liberating.”

(We will continue this discussion next week.)


Feel free to make comment below.  To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

“‘Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less'”

A common complaint that parents bring to me is some variation on the theme of the child being poorly motivated.

Parents will say things like, “He just doesn’t seem to care about anything (other than screens).  We’ve tried everything and nothing seems to motivate him.   Now, if it’s something he likes doing like surfing at the beach, he will get up early and do it all day. For that, he’s motivated.”

One of the things that gets my back up is when professionals fall to simplistic explanations after the parents have checked off a few of the classic items on a rating scale at the doctor’s office that point to “ADHD.”

While the child may have this neurodevelopmental disorder, I could easily come up with about 20  different things that contribute to the child having low motivation.

A favorite author of mine who has written a number of excellent books on learning issues and struggling children is Dr. Ellen Braaten.

While cruising around Barnes and Nobles recently (yes, people still go to real bookstores sometimes), I came upon her latest book whose title says it all:  “Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less:  How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation.”

Even though we don’t know each other, I’d like to think we are kindred spirits.

While parents often want to focus on the question, “How do we fix it,” I try and push back and remind parents that their children are not car engines and that there’s nothing broken.

I encourage parents to follow the child’s strengths. (That is the theme of The Shut-Down Learner.”)

Following the child’s strengths is a lot easier said than done and getting a child through the rigors of school can be extremely challenging  (The last time I looked surfing wasn’t a part of most school’s curriculum.)

Dr. Braaten also emphasizes building on strengths to help break the cycle of low motivation.

One of the things I particularly liked about Dr. Braaten’s book is a chart that she includes that highlights what low motivation looks like at different ages.  For example,  how does low motivation look with a five year old compared to a 17-year-old?

If you’ve been frustrated as many parents are with issues of motivation, I strongly encourage you to get a hold of Dr. Braaten’s book.  It’s loaded with great ideas and offers good food for thought.

I believe your perspective on why your child is unmotivated will broaden once you go through her book.


(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

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“Rolling the Dice”

Oh, my, my, my, I’m the lone crap shooter, playin the field every night.”  ‘Tumblin Dice,’ the Rolling Stones)

In the last post we talked about kids who are “rudderless (see “Rudderless”).  This week we focus on the older ones, high school and college kids, who are rolling the dice in their attempt to avoid the pain.

The dice roll comes down to “should I face the current pain of my school work, or put it off for a later date (or never).”

Many choose the latter and hope that they get a good roll.

When college grades come out for the past semester, many of these kids are stunned by the result, having been in their ongoing state of denial.

“I don’t know how I could have failed,” reported 20-year-old, James,  “I did my work.”   Thinking that he was meeting his basic responsibilities, the reality is James probably handed in about 60% (at best) of  what was required.

The truth is on a day-to-day basis, James kept avoiding pain, continually rolling the dice.

James’ lifestyle also caught up with him. Never going into the library (not sure that James knew where it was on campus), he probably spent about 10 hours or more  tooling around the internet, texting his friends or playing video games (and probably doing too much vaping and edibles).

Another young man that I know attended a local college.  After getting to campus Liam avoided going to class, choosing instead to hang in the student lounge filling his time on a range of social media sites.

The internet is a safe haven for these pain avoiders. YouTube, TikTok and Instagram  can be quite the narcotic when there is all this painful and utterly annoying stuff like schoolwork out there to deal with.

504 Plans and various services are available at school if there is an identified diagnosis like ADHD, but unless the student makes an active decision to take responsibility for his or her own learning, the accommodations are essentially meaningless.

The two students mentioned above, did not avail themselves of any accommodations or services, even though their parents had spent a great deal of time and money to obtain a diagnosis leading to a 504 Plan.

Takeaway Point

Rolling the dice has its own inherent thrill and when you come up with the numbers you want  there is a payoff (“Yeah, baby”); there are endless ways to stay in the shadows and avoid the pain.


Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

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“Rudderless”

13-year-old Liam comes in trudging behind his mother, staring at his phone.

While I think I have a decent relationship with Liam having evaluated him a while back with a follow-up session or two, I also think there’s a pretty big part of him that is annoyed about being dragged in.  (He had been “socializing” with his friends up in his room on-line on a video game when his mom interrupted him about the appointment.)

An irritated mom kicked off the session.  “He’s doing nothing, nothing and failing classes.  Nothing seems to get through to him.”

I do my best to go low-key and use some type of humor with Liam to try and lighten the mood, but he’s not biting, not taking the bait.

The best I get is the “13-year old shrug.”  (I’m sure you know the look.)

Animatedly, I raise the joking level, “This is a ‘No Shrug Zone!!!!,” I shout.  “You have to give me something.  Throw me a bone.”

Shrugging again, at some point he mumbles, “I think I have executive function deficits.”

In over-the-top astonishment, I state, “Executive Function deficits!!!!  Do you know what that is?”

More shrugging, I get a low mumble, “No.”

“It means you are a rudderless ship.  Nothing is steering the boat.  The wind blows one way and you go where the wind blows.  It blows another way and there you go.”

Takeaway Point

The fact of the matter is children and adolescents showing these rudderless ships are difficult to turn around to the point where they are not just bobbing around on the water.

We’ll talk more ore in follow-up posts.)


Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

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