Month: April 2023

“Nicholas & the ‘Child-to-Mother Sideways Glance'”

by | Apr 28, 2023 |

Over the last year or so, I’ve noted an interesting trend – I’ll call it the “Child-to-Mom- Sideways Glance.”

Here’s how it goes.

Take William, age 8, who comes in to meet with me for the first time accompanied by his mother.  They sit next to each other perhaps two feet apart.

I engage William.

“So, Will, how old are you?”

Rather than answer the question directly, William immediate glances sideways at his mom before answering.

Once answering I check my chart and jokingly state, “Correct!!!! You’re right!!!!”

Thankfully, William laughs as I ask him another question.

“And, when’s your birthday?  (Sideways glance comes again immediately before responding.)

Teasingly, I joke, “I’m going to ask another one.  This is not a trick question.  You’re not allowed to look at your mother – in fact, I’m going to put up this paper shield so you can’t look at her when you answer,” as I playfully put up a paper between them so he can’t look at her when I ask if he has any pets.

Now I have William fully laughing and his mother is too, because she knows she’s in this dance with him as a co-conspirator.

This segues into another kid, Nicholas, age 10, a budding and brilliant future neuroscientist (and not a sideways glancer).

I explain my observation to Nicholas looking for his opinion on child behavior.

“So, Nicholas, I’ve picked up on this trend of child behavior where kids can’t answer a question without looking at their moms.  I know  there is no right or wrong answer, but what’s your guess why this is happening?”

Without skipping a beat, Nicholas says, “I would have a few hypotheses.”  (Now, I’m dying, laughing and leaning back, enjoying the ride to come.)

“My first hypothesis would be that the kid is maybe a little uncomfortable, maybe a little nervous.”

“That sounds like a good one,” I say.  “And your second?”

“Another hypothesis would be the kid has become too reliant (his word) on his mother. A third would be that they’re looking to their mother for approval too much.”

“Wow…those are pretty good,” I affirm (not that he needs my affirmation).  “I have one more to add,” I tell him.

“And, that would be?”

(Now I have pressure to earn my stripes with this 10-year-old researcher.)

“A hypothesis I would have would be the mom is too ready to speak for the child and he’s gotten very used to her answering for him.”

Nicholas gives me a wise nod, thankfully affirming my hypothesis. (I needed Nicholas’ approval more than he needed mine.)

I ask Nicholas  how he would set up a study and test the hypotheses.  Nicholas tells how he would set up a study to test them.  Nicholas quickly explains how he would research it, a well-designed study worthy of most  graduate programs.

Takeaway Point

All hypotheses are in play when it comes to the child-to-mother sideways glance.

This trend will need to be investigated further. Nicholas is on it.

I can’t wait to start having Nicholas on as a guest or co-host on my future podcasts.

(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

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“Common Sense & ‘Passing the Smell Test'”

by | Apr 21, 2023 | ,

Last Sunday there was a feature article in the New York Times on the science of reading emphasizing that “science” has confirmed the need to teach children phonics. (Science of Reading – New York Times)

While this comes after decades of debate, the article notes that the “science of reading” has determined (finally), that there is a correct way to teach reading and it looks like phonics instruction has been declared the winner.

(Not to mention that this was already determined by researchers under the Bush Administration with Reading First and Leave No Child Behind.)

Once again, though, the determination that phonics is the winner, on some level, does not make common sense and does not “pass the smell test.”

The question is not whether phonics instruction is the best way to teach reading, but whether or not the child needs it.

Let’s put it this way.

About 70% or so  of six- and seven-year-olds get on the “reading bike” in kindergarten and first grade without much trouble and before you know it they are reading pretty fluently.

Fortunately for this group their  “reading brain” kicks in, mostly through a type of reading osmosis, such as interacting with books in early childhood and being read to regularly by their parents and other adults.

There was little to no formal phonics instruction, yet they became adequate readers.

For the wobbly remainder, the 20 – 30%, many of whom have a learning disability like dyslexia, the natural interactions did not take hold. There was no reading by osmosis.

Guess what they need?

That’s right –  phonics-based instruction.

Unfortunately, by and large over the last 30-40 years that’s not how it’s gone in the schools.

Common sense did not govern instruction and most kids received a model of reading (often referred to as “top-down”) emphasizing reading comprehension.  Phonics instruction was deemed as “so yesterday” and virtually eliminated.

Top-down approaches became the rule of he land.  For the 70%, for those who already know how to read, that is fine.

For the remainder, they wobble along making little progress with such approaches.

Makes common sense, right?

And it even passes the smell test!

(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

 

“And, So a New Chapter Begins”

by | Apr 14, 2023 |

With the arrival of newborn Emmett Gaetano Selznick last weekend, an official new chapter begins in our lives.

As I said a while ago, in a previous blog on grandparenting, I’m going to try and do my best to do what grandparents are supposed to do – spoil and “zip it and clip it” (not easy for me).

As loyal readers of this blog know, I do my best to dispense a range of advice for parents anxious about their child’s struggles.  ( I reflect on the fact (and chuckle to myself as I write this) that  my son unsubscribed to this blog a number of years ago.)

So, let’s raise a collective glass to young Emmett Gaetano and wish him good things.  Here’s hoping he doesn’t give his teachers too much stuff, while he gives his father a hefty dose.  (Hey, like father like son, no?  We certainly got our share in the raising of Emmett’s father!)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

In last week’s post which drew on the perspective that for a couple thousand years adults have been shaking their head  (I know I have) on the out of control (unruly) nature of childhood (“What’s the Matter With Kids” ).

Loyal reader and friend Stan commented on the post:

“Brilliant set of quote demonstrating the timelessness of the antipathy the older generation always seems to feel toward the youth of the day…Perhaps the elders are simply jealous of the youth , energy, vitality and projected length of their future life.  Kudos to the Shut Down-Learner research staff  – they deserve lots of credit (and perhaps a raise?) for digging up these oh-so-appropriate quotations!!!”

Well, Stan, since the writing of these blogs is a labor of love, the staff will have to wait for their raise.

In the meantime, we of the older generation will continue looking at the younger generation through a jaundiced eye, especially with their seeming addictions to screens above all other facets of life.

(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

“‘What’s the Matter With Kids Today?'”

by | Apr 7, 2023 | ,

“The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think nothing but of themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress.”  (Peter the Hermit, circa 1250)

Well, since he was a hermit, perhaps he wasn’t tuned in to the leading technology of the day, so what did he know.

Many centuries before Peter, Hesiod also despaired about the future and the state of youth at the time:

“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous young people of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words.  When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful) and impatient of restraint.” (Hesiod, 8th Century, BCE).

A few hundred years after Hesiod, Socrates, as quoted by Plato, started to document ADHD in the classroom and the challenges that the beleaguered teachers faced.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; and they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, and are not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”  (Socrates,  circa 870 BCE)

(Man, can you imagine if those hooligans in Socrates’ time had iPhones!!!!!!)

Plato built on Socrates and started his own documenting of oppositional defiant disorders and conduct disorder.

“What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders. They disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying.  What is to become of them?” (Plato)

Takeaway Point

The more things change, the more they remain the same.

(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

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