Month: January 2024

“And Now, For a Change of Pace”

by | Jan 19, 2024 | ,

My marketing manager (my daughter Julia) has been pushing me to create more short videos to spread around.

So, as a change of pace here are two that were posted to YouTube.  TRUST ME.  THEY ARE VERY SHORT!!!!  Hope you enjoy.  Let me know what you think.

The first one was posted a little while ago.  It’s a brief introduction to the purpose of these videos:

1. Introduction: Selznick Video Productions!

The second is adapted from my new book, “Beyond the Power Struggle: A Guide For Parents of Challenging Kids.”  It’s one of my favorite tips.

2. Challenging Children? Have a Mantra.

Feel free to make comment below. 

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com. 

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

 

“Does Spelling Matter?”

by | Jan 19, 2024 | ,

Let’s say your 12-year-old sixth grader spells the following words:

  •  (brief)  bref
  • (should) shood
  • (grown) gron
  • (success) susess
  •  (educate) edcccate
  •  (result) resolt
  • (kitchen) kicten  

Then  the child writes the following story to a prompt:

          “Once a o pon a time there was a kid that was a million air and he whated to buy a house   he look at so many house and finally found a house. but it needed a lot of work So the kid hierd lots of pepul to help him but after thay were all done the house went back  to it whent back to the way  it was.”

Or, perhaps you have an 8-year-old third grader who writes:

            “I hrd a son. It was funne. My dad was beyenfunne was he dats Wen he was in the cr  Wan we wr gown to the prck.”

(Translated as best I could  after the child tried to tell it to me –  “I heard a song.  It was funny.  My dad was being funny when he danced.  When he was in the car when we were going to the park.”)

When the parents raised the issue of their concerns about their child’s spelling and writing,  in each case the response was, “Well, spelling really doesn’t matter – they can use spell check. Teaching spelling is tedious and boring to children.  We much prefer that they were creative.”

For those of you following this blog for a while, I am sure that you will predict that I respectfully disagree.

A study conducted  where classroom teacher practices were observed, revealed that less than 5% of the language arts instructional block time is devoted to spelling or direct instruction in writing (compared with open-ended, as in “Write about your holiday.”)

For approximately 60% of the school population, this is not particularly relevant, as their skills develop along a natural trajectory.  Spelling and writing develop through a type of osmosis

For the rest, simply saying,  “They can use spell check” is not a substitute for the challenging work needed.  Indeed, it’s arduous, often not fun, but leaving children in the state they are in, as in the samples above, is hard to justify.

In later blog posts we will offer home-based tips to work on these skills.

Feel free to make comment below. 

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com. 

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

“Floaters”

by | Jan 12, 2024 | ,

 

A common concern raised by parents (well, mostly the moms) is their child’s lack of what they label as “executive function deficits (EFD).”

With EFDs there’s always the underlying question of whether these issues are a biproduct of immaturity, skill deficits or a legitimate neurologically based disorder?

I’ve met a gazillion of these kids and by now I should have an answer to that question, but I’m embarrassed to admit I still am not sure.

What are the signs of  EFD?

A low level of  “sustained mental effort” is one of the big indicators. With low sustained mental effort, there may be a degree of reasonable effort put toward a task at the beginning, but this effort quickly fades.

Another sign of EFD is the characteristic of not being a “self-starter.”   That is, excessive parental (or teacher) reminders are needed to get started on a task.

Predominant disorganization, coupled with inattentiveness are other qualities pushing parents over the edge.

In basic terms, a good way to think of these kids is that they are “floaters.”  Effectively, there’s not much of a rudder steering them.  As the wind blows, so goes their boat.

Recently, I came upon an article called “ADHD & Executive Function Deficits:  Identical Twins or First Cousins.”

I think the title of the article sums up the dilemma pretty well.

What do you think?  Are you in the camp that these floaters represent more of a neurological disorder or a function of maturation or lack of skill.

Feel free to make comment below. 

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com. 

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

Turning Down the Parental Heat

by | Jan 5, 2024 | ,

Parents do various back flips to address meltdowns and school avoidance.

Mostly,  parental responses are reactive, delivered in the heat of the moment (e.g., “That’s it!!!  You’re not allowed on your iPad for the next two weeks,” after the child has rolled around on the floor,  not completing another homework assignment.)

I think of parent yelling as a “go-to” strategy.  (“Hey, we were yelled at as kids, so why not keep up the family tradition.”)

The thing about yelling is it largely doesn’t work.

When was the last time your child said after your yelling, “You’re right mom.  I need to take more responsibility for myself.”

Let’s take Sam, an 8 year old child who has a “soup pot” of different issues, frequently melting down over his homework.  “I hate writing,”  Sam screams.  “It’s so stupid…why do I have to do this ????!!!!! (while throwing his papers around in a full-blown rage).”

Based on a strategy we discussed, his mom, Beth, decides not to engage him with yelling, pecking or biting the bait,  as every time she does any of these they only serve to increase his raging meltdowns.

Instead, while Sam pulled out every reaction, trying to get out of doing his homework, Beth  just went about her business – zero reaction..

After about 10 minutes or so of being left alone at the dining room table with no input from his mother, Sam started to calm down, still sniveling and whimpering some, but no longer raging.

At some point when the whimpering had subsided, Beth spoke to Sam in very matter-of-fact tones, “Look, Sam,  I get it.  Writing is not fun and it’s hard for you and you get frustrated.  But, here’s the deal, even though you’re angry and frustrated,  you still need to finish your homework without banging on the table or rolling on the floor.  I can offer you some help, but there’s no screen time until you’re finished.  Let me know if you need any help.”

It may take time, but when left on their own to work it out, most of the Sam types will work through their anger  and come around when handled calmly and directly without threats.

Effectively, it’s Sam’s choice.  It’s up to him to decide.

Feel free to make comment below. 

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email: shutdownlearner1@gmail.com. 

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

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