Month: November 2023

Following up on last week’s Selznick Poll discussion on what percentage of boys show signs of “executive function” deficits (click here: See “A Hypothetical Poll”) ,let’s emphasize some points:

• Using a bell-shape curve perspective, if about 85% of the boys in the 10- to-15-year-old range show issues with organizing, taking initiative, paying attention, following through, and sustaining mental effort (the usual issues with executive functioning), then this puts them in an average for their age.

• Even though they’re in the norm and what would expected, that still leaves you exhausted and depleted with their embodiment of these qualities.

• Of this 85%, probably about 99.9% of them are addicted (i.e., to their various screens and gaming systems).

In response, you as parent are constantly bringing out the “Didja’s,” as in “Didja pack your bag,” “Didja do your homework,” “Didja you put your stuff away.”

It’s no wonder that you want to retreat to bed by 7:00!!!

What do these 85 percenters need?

While “executive function coaching” has its value, this group is still pretty immature to take advantage of it.
Keeping things simple, here are the two essentials that are needed for them and for you:

1. They need structure.
2. You need leverage.

Trust me, you can do a lot worse than tuning out all the noise out there and just reflecting on these two variables.

In fact, that can be the mantra you may want to  repeat to yourself – “They need structure; I need leverage. They need structure; I need leverage. They need structure; I need leverage.”

(More next blog.)

Feel free to make comment below.  To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com. 

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

Let’s take a random group of 100 boys, roughly between ages 10 – 14.

You know nothing about them, but their moms are asked a simple poll question:

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the most negative) how would you rank your son on his taking initiative, organizing himself, keeping track of assignments, following directions and paying attention?

What would be your guess of the percentage of these boys being rated 7 or higher?

Now, ask the same question of the girls.

(I know. I know.  I’m not supposed to generalize, but I will proceed ahead anyway.)

Here’s my guess as to the Selznick Poll results:

Boys:  85% (+/- five percentage points)

Girls: 30% (+/- five percentage points).

Presuming I’m correct within a margin of error, what are the implications of the poll?

Well, I have a parade of beleaguered parents who are doing everything they can (from positive reinforcement to more punitive approaches) to try and get their disorganized and lackadaisical sons more in the game, but nothing seems to move the needle.

When I talk to them about the hypothetical poll, I  usually see a moment of recognition that conveys something like, “Ah, I get it.  So what you’re telling me his behavior is not that unusual, that maybe he’s not as disordered as I thought – that it’s part of the typical boy makeup, a type of  boy immaturity. ”

“Exactly.  Right on the money! That’s my message to you. Understanding this can be quite liberating.”

(We will continue this discussion next week.)

Feel free to make comment below.  To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com. 

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.