Month: May 2023

“Hemming & Hawing”

OK… Among other disorders that I seem to have, readers of this blog know I have confessed to my  “PBD” or “Pushback Disorder.”

PBD usually manifests whenever parents tell me something that has a hypothesis (i.e., an opinion) as to why their child is doing or not doing something.

Usually, there is some type of disorder attached to the hypothesis.

Some examples include:

  • “My child is sensory seeking.”
  • “My mother’s uncle has clear ADHD and it runs in the family, so I see it coming out with our 7-year old when she refuses to do her homework.
  • “Emotional self-regulation is challenging for William – he always demands to be first in everything.”
  • “Her dyscalculia is running rampant – she just can’t do math word problems.”
  • “George hates reading so much – all he can focus on are video games. I think his dyslexia trips him up and he escapes to video games for safety.”

While all of these hypotheses may be true to a greater or lesser degree, ultimately they are opinions, guesses as to what’s going on.

Even with decent testing, there’s still guesswork involved with “the diagnosis,” which leads to another of my numerous disorders.

I haven’t seen it in the research literature, so I may be the first person to discover it – I am calling it “Hemming and Hawing Disorder” or “HHD.”

“HHD” manifests in my corner of the universe around questions of ADHD, Dyslexia, Anxiety and Asperger’s, among others, for example.

Recognizing that  there is no definitive test for any of these commonly raised concerns, I often find myself “hemming and hawing” after I’ve done a hefty dose of pushing back.

HBD is correlated highly with “Squeamish Disorder” (SD), which I freely own.

Not being a neurologist (who must have steelier nerve than I have with much more science behind them), I am uncomfortable saying that I child has a neurological disorder.

What I am not squeamish about, however, are stating facts that emerge in an assessment: .

For example:

“The fact is your child rushes through tasks.”

“Your child has a significant reading, spelling and writing problem and is well below the norm on these skills.

“Your child has superior visual intelligence, but is much weaker with verbal skills which are likely to impact things like reading comprehension or understanding lectures.”

“Following directions is very difficult for your child which came out in many of the portions of the testing.”

“Clear deficits with reading rate, accuracy and fluency were seen on all of the tests.

Takeaway Point

I clearly need help with all of my numerous disorders, such as PBD, HHD and SD, among others, however, stating the facts clearly keeps these disorders at bay.

For statements like these, I don’t show any HBD or SD.


***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

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“‘Barn Kids’ & the ‘Populars'”

In my ongoing education, this week I learned about the “Barn Kids” and the “Populars.”

Mother of 12-year-old Marla explained to me that her 12-year-old daughter was one of the “Barn Kids”  and not one of the “Populars.”

Instinctively, I sort of knew what she meant,  but asked for elaboration.

“Well, the Barn kids are like in their own corner of the universe.  They love hanging with the horses, shoveling hay, cleaning stalls and doing all sorts of other odd jobs around the barn.  They don’t have phones or other screens down at the barn.  They just hang with the horses and sometimes a little with each other.”

I ask, how  Marla get along with the other Barn kids.”

“Great…totally the opposite of how she is with the Populars or in school.  An interesting side-note is that the Barn Kids are all different ages, from maybe seven up to teens.”

“With the Populars,” she continued, “they’re always clustering on their phones, going on Tik Tok, talking and gossiping with each other.  From what I can tell, they can be a pretty tough group.  Marla is very skittish about them.”

When I meet Marla we talk about her love of the barn and she tells me how it all works. She didn’t feel like an outsider there, pressing her nose to the glass trying to get in the club as she always feels around the popular kids.  She also proudly shows me a video of herself in a jumping competition that she had recently won. (The Populars knew nothing about her victory.)

There wasn’t much she had to say about the Populars, other than on occasion they could make fun of her, but she felt she was learning to cope when she had to be around them.

Beside, when she started to feel stressed and had trouble coping, she knew her horse was a great listener!


(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

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“Low ‘Oomph'”

“oomph” noun Informal: energy; vitality; enthusiasm.

I don’t know how to describe it in more clinical or scientific terms, but there are a bunch of kids I’ve assessed recently who seem to me to lack “oomph.”

While “oomph” may be one of those words that are not currently in modern usage, I think it conveys an important issue not often discussed.

With a low level of “oomph,”  the child comes across with low-energy and very little “push” behind them and the  tasks they are asked to complete.  Typically, parents will be checking the boxes that say things like, “lacks sustained mental effort,” “inattentive,” “easily distracted.”

With these children, I think of them as having a low “OQ,” (i.e., “”Oomph Quotient”)..  While not very scientific I understand, but that’s what it feels like when I’m with them.

Let’s take Blaze, an 8 year old whose parents are worried about how he conducts himself in his day-to-day life.

When I meet  Blaze I do my best to connect with him, but he’s not buying what I’m selling.  Giving me a half-hearted  (“must I do this”) fist bump with a meager smile as a starting point, he conveys that he can’t wait to be out of there.

When the assessment starts I ask Blaze to write down three things that he likes to do.  Instead of writing,  he says something in a mumble like, “I don’t like to do too much – video games.”  (Nothing gets written down.)

Later, on a task where I have Blaze to copy different shape and designs on the page and to put blocks together in patterns, he goes through the motions, but there is no attempt to correct himself when a design or block pattern is obviously wrong.

The sense is that the only thing on Blaze’s mind that matters to him is getting done with this annoyance, probably  so he can go back to his screen time at home or on the phone that his parents have given him on his birthday (with no strings attached).

It would be one thing if what was observed was unusual for Blaze, a function of not liking me or the assessment situation, but this type of thing occurs consistently and his parents are getting their buttons pushed by it.  (Teachers also comment on the low energy.)

Certainly, many kids with low “oomph” are diagnosed as  ADHD – of the inattentive variety – but my sense is that it is deeper than we are owning and understanding and a fairly complex issue.

To my knowledge there is no easy fix to remedy low “oomph.””

A good first step is to recognize it for what it often is – a total disinterest in anything beyond what is giving the child pleasure (which usually comes in the form of a screen).

Once it is recognized for what it is, honest conversations can take place between parent and child about what the low “oomph” means and how much of a problem it is becoming.

Starting to link up very important messages that questions the free access to screen pleasure would be a good next step.

The child has to start understanding the basic formula of “you give and you get,” as the child is typically stuck in “you don’t give and you still get.”

While this may not move the “OQ” needle significantly, it may move it enough to get the child more in the game.


(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.  Comments and questions are welcomed, but are blocked by the hosting site.  Please email questions or comments: rselznick615@gmail.com)  

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2022, www.shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email rselznick615@gmail.com.

To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.