Month: September 2023

ADHD? Perhaps.

Practically every week I hear an array of  concerns regarding distractibility and inattentiveness.

There’s always the question of, “Does my child have ADHD/ADD” lurking.

While talking to parents I try and  broaden the narrative,  reviewing other factors that may be contributing to why a child is not consistently paying attention.

Before presuming a child has a neurological disorder such as ADHD that is typically diagnosed in the doctor’s office by checking certain items on the Vanderbilt Scales, here are some factors to keep in mind:

  • Perhaps the work is too hard.  If it is, it will lead to inattention.
  • Perhaps the child is playing video games far too late in the evening and not getting enough sleep.  In addition, perhaps the child is addicted to video games leaving little in the tank for sustained mental effort (something that I am seeing much more).
  • Perhaps there’s been a lot of tension and fighting in the family that is unsettling to the child,  which will lead to distractibility.
  • Perhaps the teacher is not motivating, which can certainly produce a lot of off-task behavior.
  • Perhaps the child  has “W.B.D.” (i.e., “Worksheet Burnout Disorder” (a term I made up) and is being flooded by too many worksheets (or its on-line equivalent), leaving the child feeling disconnected and unmotivated.
  • Perhaps the child has significant reading problems, making it difficult to pay attention and comprehend.  (This is an extremely important consideration.)
  • Perhaps there is a lot of distraction in the environment (whether it be the  classroom or at home) and the atmosphere does not lend itself to paying attention.
  • Perhaps the child is struggling with anxiety and the excessive worrying looks like inattention.
  • Perhaps the child is feeling like they may have social issues as they go on TikTok and Instagram and sees friends doing stuff that they weren’t included in.
  • Maybe the child has been made fun of or ridiculed, but no one really knows of it other than the child.

Oh, yeah.  I almost forgot.

Perhaps the child has ADD/ADHD.


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To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

Fillin’ the Cracks

Anxiety over your child’s school-based problems can start very early. A mom recently contacted me after reading The Shut-Down Learner.

“My son is drowning in school. Do you think he could be a shut-down learner?”

After asking a few more questions, I was struck by the fact that the child in question was only five and in kindergarten.

When I wrote the Shut-Down Learner I was largely envisioning a disconnected, shut-down adolescent.

However, as I gave more talks to the parents, so many of the concerns being raised involved young children.

To help explain things to parents I created a formula:

Early Cracks in the Foundation + Time + Lack of Understanding + Widening cracks + Family tensions increasing = Shut Down Learner

So, while the child of concern may only be in kindergarten there are cracks that can be identified.  Time goes by quickly and with a lack of understanding how to address them, they widen with family tensions arising around the school issues.

Takeaway Point

There’s no gain in waiting.  Do what you can to fill the cracks.


Feel free to make comment below.  To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

 

Sharks & Minnows – Part II

Last week we talked about the law of the playground  (and the jungle), that in spite of well meaning attempts to extinguish the phenomenon of “sharks” picking on the “minnows,” the law of the playground persists (Sharks & Minnows (Part I).

Picking up on the smallest drop of blood, the sharks jump in.  It really doesn’t take much to get things going in a not so great direction.

It may not be overt or aggressive, but the minnows feel it.

“She can’t even read – she’s so stupid,” Claire overheard from one of the sharky kids snickering to a few other sharky types in the lunchroom as she walked past them.

Sometimes the minnows unknowingly hand it over to them, by acting too silly or too over the top, like young Nicholas who is always making “knock knock” jokes that no one wants to hear.  (I say these kids can be “too too.”)

So, if it’s an immutable law, what’s to be done (keeping in mind that there are no easy answers to any of it)?

Here are  a few points:

  • Watch overuse of the word “bullying:” As noted on stopbullying.govBullying represents unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.  

Others may disagree, but I don’t think Claire’s situation above would qualify as bullying.  If that type of interaction is repeated over time, that’s a different story and the school should be notified to address the issue with their HIB policy.

  • Sensitizing the Minnows: This is much easier said than done.  A young man I work with mentioned above, Nicholas, is a great kid, but he can set himself up unwittingly to be shark chum.  I try (the best I can) to help him to turn his dial down a little in group situations  Not blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind, being mindful of side behaviors like cracking knuckles, making jokes or tapping too much are small examples.  There are many other behaviors like these that get the sharks going.  Having a child like Nicholas get feedback in therapy about their social behavior can be helpful.
  • Sensitizing the Sharks: When I worked in schools, I’d like to believe I could sensitize the sharks to some extent, not by “getting in their grill,” but by talking to them in plain, direct language.  “Listen, man, I saw you giving Nicholas a hard time the other day in the playground.  I know he gets on your nerves, but it’s really starting to bother him.  I’d appreciate it if you backed it down,” is the type of thing I would say to a shark.  Most of the time, talking to the shark directly worked more often than not.

Adult involvement is key with any intervention.

Without adult involvement, neither the sharks nor the minnows will alter their behavior, or to borrow another metaphor – “Leopards don’t change their spots.”


Feel free to make comment below.  To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

 

“Sharks & Minnows”

Out in the playground, in the lunchroom and on the school bus – really in every possible school situation – group dynamics are always at work.

There will be those in the group who are more assertive (sometimes aggressive), and those who are not. Many will be in the middle zone.
In fact, by sheer odds and the laws of the bell-shaped curve, most kids will be in the middle zone, not leaning one way or another.

One law that seems almost immutable is that the weaker kids (the minnows) will be frequent targets of the more aggressive ones (the sharks).

I recently spoke to a minnow named Leo, a fourth grader,  who hated the playground.

Here’s a sample of what he conveyed to me:

Ugh, I hate the playground. No one wants to play with me. I tried to play punch ball the other day, but no one wanted me on their team and they just laughed at me when I missed. The really mean kid put a boogey on my back and then he shoved me in line. I went to my teacher, but she said I was tattling and should just stay away from him. I also told my parents but they didn’t know what to do. Oh no, the teacher is blowing the whistle and we have to get back in line and the mean kid is coming back to me again. I just hate recess.

While I listened  sympathetically, as you can imagine there are no easy answers to the “sharks and minnows” phenomenon.

Schools follow HIB (Harassment Intimidation & Bullying) protocols, but much what was  described by Leo may not fall in the level of a HIB violation.

If that is, in fact, the case, then what?

(We will continue with Sharks and Minnows in Part II.)


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To receive future blog posts, register your email: https://shutdownlearner.com.

To Contact Dr. Richard Selznick for advice, consultation or other information, email – rselznick615@gmail.com

Copyright, Richard Selznick, Ph.D.  2023, www.shutdownlearner.com.

(***Please note:  All blogs represent the opinion and perspective of Dr. Richard Selznick.)