Change does not come easily for any of us. Think about how deeply ingrained our personalities, habits and proclivities are.
Fundamentally, we are who we are.
Parents spend a lot of time trying to change children and I sometimes find that their efforts may be a bit too ambitious.
Rather than go for large change, a “compound-interest mentality” may help as an alternative.
With compound interest, finances grow in small increments. Interest is paid on top of interest – an improved product is changed in incremental steps. With compound interest change occurs over time.
Using this mindset with children can be enormously helpful.
Let’s say your child has difficulty putting papers away, keeping track of assignments, knowing where to find materials, clearing out book bags, etc.. In short, your child has problems with what are commonly called “executive functioning” skills.
Trying to get your child to improve in this area can be overwhelming (for the parent and the child), and often leads to frustration.
Having a compound interest mentality is a slower process, but smaller, incremental change can occur over time leading to a significantly improved product.
To think in compounding terms, come up with a handful of skills that you think would represent real improvement in your child. Write down this list of specific skills.
Focus on one skill for a period of time until you think that skill has been internalized and mastered.
A “skill of the month” approach can help move this along. For example, April can be “Pack Bag On Your Own Month.” Practice this skill and acknowledge it when it is done right.
Once the skill of the month has been internalized, this would represent a form of “interest” that has been paid, so to speak. The next skill that is practiced will be on top of an already improved product.
The key to the compound interest approach is having patience and recognizing small, incremental progress.