“Children surrounded by fast-paced visual stimuli at the expense of face-to-face adult modeling, interactive language, reflective problem- solving, creative play, and sustained attention may be expected to arrive at school unprepared for academic learning—and to fall farther behind and become increasingly “unmotivated” as the years go by.”
― Jane M. Healy, Endangered Minds: Why Children Don’t Think and What We Can Do About It
I go out to the waiting room to greet young Marissa, age seven, a first grade child who is coming in for an assessment because her school thinks she is having trouble “paying attention.”
“Hi Marissa,” I say in an upbeat style that usually gets kids engaged and comfortable.
Marissa does not look up.
Her iPad is far more captivating than saying hello to this new person. To Marissa I don’t exist. The mom tries to get Marissa to say hello, but she’s not budging for her either.
We go back and I offer Marissa some toys (old school ones in a box – you know, different figures, animals, cars and trucks) and markers that she shows no interest in playing with or coloring.
Again, her iPad is holding her riveted.
(I flash on Gollum in Lord of the Rings – ”My precious, my precious,” as he would stroke the ring. I think Marissa may start doing the same with the iPad – ‘My precious…my precious.’)
Marissa’s mom, Beth, starts talking about Marissa’s focusing difficulties.
She says, “I worry that it’s all the screens. She gets in the car and the TV is on the seat panels. She can’t even go three minutes without it on. When we get to the restaurant, she demands the iPad. We give it to her – maybe it’s helping her visual skills, I don’t know. At night she never wants to play, even though we try and play games with her. When kids come over, all they want to do is have iPads. They really don’t play with each other. The school thinks we need to see a doctor to consider medication for her focusing.”
I don’t want to sound like an old head, but Jane Healy hit it on the head in the above quote. (Keep in mind Jane Healy wrote Endangered Minds in 1999.)
Skills need to be taught, developed and practiced over time to be internalized.There is a skill to greeting someone in the waiting room. There is a skill to playing with toys or interacting in a restaurant.
If we don’t give kids a chance to practice these skills, the skills will not develop.
It’s as simple as that.
Detox them.
Be firm. Be brave.