Many times parents (moms) sense that something is wrong with their child and want to have the child evaluated in school. Once the mom raises the issue, often she hears a version of the following, “Well, she’s getting good grades – what’s the problem?” The mom walks away thinking that she was being unduly concerned as the request for testing is denied, and she is given the impression that she is over-worrying.
Time goes by. The mom continues to see the child struggle and may seek an outside assessment. More often than not in a situation like this, what I find are “cracks in the foundation” that help to explain some of the struggling and validate the mom’s concerns.
These cracks are like the ones in your house. Sure the house looks fine, but the foundation may be a little shaky.
With a child the shaky foundation doesn’t necessarily mean that the child is “disabled,” but it also doesn’t mean that the child is fine. The good grades may be masking some of the issues of concern (the foundation).
A child can get good grades for all kinds of reasons. For example, you can probably get a B in most classes in elementary school if you don’t give the teacher a hard time, hand in your homework, and exhibit other teacher pleasing behaviors. Many children (especially the girls) have that figured this out. This approach is a good strategy for not drawing any undue negative attention to yourself. (Boys are notorious for not figuring this out.)
Listen to your “mother gut.” When you think there are concerns, they are usually there. The school may not act on your concerns, but if you are able to do so you should try and have someone check out the foundation.
Ignoring the cracks is never a good policy, whether it is your house or your child.
Cracks widen over time. Problems magnify.
There is no gain in taking no action.