You know what Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…”
Lately I’ve been explaining issues of struggling children in the metaphor of two roads.
About 50 – 60% of the population has a relatively smooth ride when it comes to school. Sure, there are some pebbles, rocks and a few potholes in the road, but in terms of the big items – academic and social functioning – the kids on this road get a relatively smooth ride. 
Then there are the other kids. These kids travel down a bumpy road filled with potholes.   For a whole host of co-mingling variables it’s not an easy ride for them
Children are not car engines.  They aren’t broken.  There’s no fixing.
What we can do is make their bumpy road a little smoother.
Smoothing the road a bit can take many forms. A lot of it is turning down the heat and curbing all the yelling around and teeth gnashing related to school. 
Maybe tonight instead of all the homework stress, play a game of Uno. Maybe your child likes drawing or building a Lego model. If your kid is older, have her play some music for you that she’s been listening to on her IPod (that you have no idea about). How about you go for a walk together?
 Let the child take the lead. 
One rule, though – you’re not allowed to bring up school during that time.
You’re just trying to smooth the road a bit, one pot hole at a time.