Executive Functioning

“The Skill of…”

by | Jun 24, 2016 | ,

I like using the phrase “the skill of ________________” when talking to parents about various kid issues.  Using the phrase helps guide parents in terms of what they are targeting and helps a child to move forward.

Some time ago a friend of mine trained her kids (three boys) at a fairly young age the skill of making their lunch.  Effectively, she sized up their readiness to meet the demands of the task (she thought they were ready) and she taught them the skill.  After showing the boys the steps and having them practice each step to mastery, they internalized the skill.  Inernalizing the skill gave them a sense of mastery and personal competence, not to mention moving one step closer to independence

Here are some other examples of “the skill of” in action:

“We are practicing the skill of short vowels in one syllable words.’

“We are practicing the skill of multisyllabic words with short vowel sounds.”

“The skill of inferences is what we are targeting.”

“This month we are practicing the skill of putting your homework in the right place in your book bag.”

To a child who never looks up from his iPad, when someone is saying hello,  one mom said, “September is devoted to  practicing the skill of saying hello to someone after they speak to you.”

“Skill of” thinking is good for both parent and child.  For the child the identified skill is finite and obtainable.  Once the skill is mastered, the child owns it.  It’s in his skill repertoire.

For the parents, it changes their thinking such things as, “We’re working on improving his ADD or his dyslexia”  to targeting very specific identifiable skills.  Working on ones’s ADD or dyslexia does not define really what it is that is being targeted or worked on to mastery.

Keep in mind that all skills have basically three zones to consider.  The independent zone represents the  zone where the skill is fully mastered and easy for the child.  Within the instructional zone, the skill is close to being fully mastered, but still needs some work. The frustration or difficulty zone is too hard for the child and should be avoided.  It is simply too difficult.  In general people cannot work within their frustration zone.

In the case of the lunch making boys, my friend correctly assessed that her kids were able to be in the instructional zone with this particular skill and that with some practice they could be in the independently managing the skill of making their lunch.

Takeaway Point

Use “skill of” thinking” wherever you can (not just with academics).  Be clear with your child in using the phrase “skill of,” as in,  “We are practicing the skill of making your bed.”

Be mindful of the zones of competence in determining the skill you are targeting and your level of expectation.

 

Boredom Intolerance

by | May 20, 2016 |

Overcoming boredom is a skill that needs to be taught.

Does your child have “BID (Boredom Intolerance Disorder)?”

Don’t Google it or look it up on WebMd.  I made it up.

Let’s look at boredom intolerance.  To start, If 100 kids (or adults for that matter) were asked, “How many of you would like to take part in a boring lecture today,” I would venture to say that not a hand would go up? If the same kids were asked, “How many of you think you could tolerate a boring lecture,” I would predict a fair number (perhaps about 50%) could tolerate the lecture.

Children with executive function issues (i.e., problems with initiating activity, sustaining mental effort, and inattentiveness among other behaviors) typically have great difficulty managing their boredom.

Boredom Intolerance Descriptions

Reports from parents describe it well.

Here are some common descriptions:

  • “It’s like he can’t stand doing his homework. In five minutes flat he’s groaning that ‘It’s sooooo boring.’”
  • “Getting him to read is painful. You’d think we were hurting him.”
  • “Last week in church it was like he was jumping out of his skin during the sermon. Was the sermon exciting? No?  But why couldn’t he deal with it?”

Executive function deficits represent weak, floppy internal “rudders” or internal steering mechanisms.  For the kids who can tolerate the boring lecture or the sermon they probably have some kind of internal dialogue like the following,  ”Wow, this is really boring.  I can’t wait for it to be over, but I will try and stay focused.”

Not so with our heroes who have BID.  There is little to no “self-talking” or “self-calming” strategies (common shrink terms).  They react to the boredom almost instantaneously.  They must get out of the situation.  “It’s sooooooo boring.”  It’s intolerable.

What’s to be done?

Teaching Kids to Combat Boredom

Tolerating boredom is a skill to be learned and practiced.

Empathy can go a long way. For example, before going to church or synagogue, you may say something like, “Look, I know it’s boring and you will have some trouble with it, but it means a lot to us that we are all there as a family.”

Helping to bring reality to a child’s head is also something that can be done.  “School can be boring.  I know the teacher tries to make it fun, but she can’t all the time.  It’s not meant to be entertaining. You have to try and find ways of dealing with it.  You’re good with pictures.  Try and make picture notes of what the teacher is saying or what you are reading. That might make it more interesting.”

Takeaway Point

It’s boring out there.  We have to help them deal with it.

In other words, learning to tolerate boredom by degrees goes a long way.

Self-Monitoring (Not really)

by | Apr 8, 2016 |

Flexibility of thinking and problem solving are two interacting skills impacting academic and social functioning.   Children who have difficulty with these also have trouble with “self-monitoring,” that is the ability to be aware of the correctness of your output to a given situation, question or problem.

Underneath, these skills is something that I refer to as the “Hmmm, let me think about it,” voice which emerges when questions are asked in which the answer is not readily apparent.   “How many states are there in the United States,” does not usually produce the, “Let me think about it voice,” as the answer is factual.  You either know the answer or you don’t.

Questions such as, “Why do you think ________,” require the problem solving voice to help reach a conclusion.  It’s almost impossible to answer the question without activating,  “Hmm, let me think about it.”

When a child struggles with this voice they have difficulty with tasks that involve higher order reasoning and inferencing.  Here’s a great example from a young girl, I tested recently,  Ashley, age 9..

On a reading comprehension screening utilizing a fill-in- the- blank format,  Ashley was given the following item for her to insert one word in the blank:

“You can _______________ a boat out of a piece of wood.”

Regardless of whether you think this is a good item or not (I don’t love it), the statement does require a certain amount of reflection and flexibility of thinking to arrive at the answer of “make,” or “carve” inserted in the blank.

If you are too rapid in style (as was Ashley) and perhaps an inflexible problem-solver (as was Ashley) you will likely reach a wrong conclusion (as did Ashley).

Here’s the interaction that took place almost verbatim with Ashley:

Ashely read the line and quickly stated:

You can “row” a boat  out of a piece of piece of wood.”

Even though the answer “row” made little sense, Ashley did not monitor her answer or attempt to self-correct.  She thought it was just fine.

I pushed her a bit and encouraged her to offer a different response.  In a sense my indirect pushing suggested to Ashley that she consider and problem solve with a different type of answer.

Without skipping a beat, Ashley answered, “You can “paddle” a boat out of a piece of wood,” for her alternative response.   Again, no self- correction.  No consideration.  No, “Hmm, let me think about it,” in evidence.

 Takeaway Point

The “problem solving voice,” involving reflecting and considering is a skill like many other skills. To some it comes somewhat naturally, to others they need to have it taught to them directly and practiced over time in order for the skills of problem solving, reflecting and self-monitoring to become more a part of the child’s skill repertoire.

The Goldilocks Standard: Executive Functioning & Shut-Down Learners

by | Oct 23, 2015 |

I had the pleasure the other night presenting to parents at the Orchard Friends School.  The topic was “Executive Functioning & Shut-Down Learners.”

As I always try to do, my mission is to present concepts that I think become unnecessarily overcomplicated (like the term “executive functioning”) to parents in down-to-earth, understandable terms.

Here are few of the points:

  • Think of “executive functioning,” like a rudder to a ship. For many kids, they have firm rudders and their boat is well-steered.  For the kids of concern, though, they have floppy rudders.  Hence, their boat flounders at sea.
  • For many of the kids of concern (especially the boys), there is a late maturing of the “rudder.” These kids are not on the same timetable of school.  So, just because  the kid may be in sixth grade, doesn’t mean he has that he has it in him to take care of the things that he “SHOULD” be able to do by school and societal standards.
  • You, as parents need to be thinking of the Goldilocks Standard when you look at your involvement. If you’re in too deep (the soup too hot, that is), then the kid will not be taking sufficient personal responsibility for things like homework.  If you are not in at all (the soup being too cold), then the child will flounder..  You need to find the “just right” level.  I like the 10% solution, meaning the parent is in about 10% or so.
  • Speaking of parental involvement, remember to turn down the heat.  Yep, there is an awful lot of yelling, screaming, peckering and cajoling going on in homework land.   Most of it is unnecessary.  I will elaborate on that in future blogs.

Try and find the sweet-spot of parental involvement – not too hot, not too cold, but just right and you will be on the path to helping move things forward.

 

 

 

 

Part III: Anger: You Can’t Make Me” Depleting Emotional Fuel

by | Apr 24, 2015 |

Maybe I am pulling for it by writing these blogs about anger (see last two blog posts:  https://shutdownlearner.com/blog), but lately I’ve had a run of angry kids.

While the content varies in terms of the specifics of each case, there are commonalities:

1)      The kid avoids school work for a variety of reasons.

2)      At some point there is a clampdown on the kid in the form of a punishment of some kind.

3)      Anger and resentment increase.  The anger reservoir enlarges.

4)      The kid becomes more avoidant while the parent(s) get increasingly frustrated.

5)      More clampdowns.

6)      More anger

7)      Etc., etc., etc…

(This becomes like the number “pi” – it goes on and on.)

It’s not a pretty picture.

Here are a few pointers to try and deal with the increasing River of Anger that lies just below the ADHD Swamp.

1)      Even if the child is not telling you directly, assume that the kid is feeling some level of anger.

2)      When appropriate (such as in the car when alone with child), take a guess, something like, “I bet you’re angry with me, right?”  (Make sure the tone that you are asking is more curious and not with a hostile edge that puts the kid on the defensive.)

3)      If kid nods, you’re on to something.  If kid gets defensive, you’re playing a wrong chord (see point above about hostile edge).

4)      After nodding, get curious.  “Wow… I didn’t know…tell me more.”

5)      Maybe take one more guess.  Usually kids think you’re being unfair about something… “You think I’m unfair, right?”

6)      As kid elaborates, say something like,  “O.K., I understand.  I could see why you are angry.”  (As an aside, it does not mean you necessarily agree why the child is angry.)

7)      If kid is on a roll, let him keep going.

8)      At the end of it, try saying something like, “Ok, I get why you’re angry.  I’ve been angry too about how school work is going.  How about you and I come up with a plan that we both can live with.”  Work on a putting together a plan cooperatively.

Please understand, I am not suggesting a “democratic style” household by putting the child in charge or anything like that.  I am simply suggesting that the anger is a huge variable that clogs up the engine.  Unless the anger gets some release, the engine doesn’t run well, especially if there are other issues such as ADHD, LD, dyslexia, etc..

Taking guesses as to why you believe the child is angry and turning down the heat are great first steps.

Take Away Point

Get the anger.

(In next blog, I will talk about what happens when kid doesn’t live up to his end of the plan.)

 

Anger You Can’t Make Me: Part II. Depleting Emotional Fuel

by | Apr 10, 2015 |

In a recent blog post I discussed how anger can be depleting a child from the necessary emotional fuel to manage school https://shutdownlearner.com/blog/2015/03/anger-you-cant-make-me-depleting-emotional-fuel.  Many of the typical “ADHD” style behaviors such as avoiding responsibilities, procrastinating, not sustaining mental effort,  may  be due, in part, to anger that remains unexpressed or misunderstood.

Children do not tend to be very clear about their anger.  In fact, most of us have difficulty with anger and its expression.  Most of the time, children are angry because they feel over-controlled and over-punished.

Ask yourself,  are your punishments reaching their desired goals?

Punishments tend to be reactive and usually result in a great deal of resentment.  They rarely succeed in helping kids become more motivated.  Usually, the anger that is underneath the surface needs some type of release, some type of understanding.  It is through the understanding that the anger is often dissipated.

Rather than wait for your child to come out directly and state their feelings, which is often very difficult to do,  one approach that may work would be to take a few educated guesses:

·         You think I am being too hard on you,  huh?

·         I bet you are real angry with me right now, right?

·         You think I am over- controlling, right?

Watch for the child’s nonverbal reaction to see if you are on to something.  If you get a lot of head nodding, you probably are hitting the mark.

You may ask, “So how do you see me as over-controlling” or “Why are you angry with me right now?”

Perhaps in the car, when is just you in your child (with no siblings), it would be a good time to give it a shot.  You don’t have to agree with what the child says,  but listening can have powerful effects.  Releasing some of the anger may lead to less of a desire to “stick it to you” and a perception that both of you are on the same team-not opposing ones.

 

Take Away Point

Anger is a strong force that can undermine all of your efforts with your child.  Find ways to show your child to you understand some of his/her feelings, and he may find that there is greater energy for tackling some of the more difficult tasks, like schoolwork.

Adapted “School Struggles,”  Richard Selznick, Ph.D. (2012) Sentient Publications

 

Anger: “You Can’t Make Me” – Depleting Emotional Fuel

by | Apr 9, 2015 |

What do these behaviors sound like to you?

· Not handing in homework consistently

· Responsibility avoidance

· Procrastination

· Not able to sustain mental effort

· Forgetful

I bet you are thinking something like ADHD, of the inattentive variety, or some form of executive function deficiency. In the back of your mind, you are wondering about medication. The teachers keep bringing it up, “even though we are not doctors,” you’ve heard time and again.

When I hear these behaviors discussed something does nag at me though and it is the question of anger and whether anger may be contributing to some of the difficulty.

It’s not that anger created the school problems, but anger is an additive variable, that depletes emotional fuel from the child’s tank.

When kids are struggling with school and are becoming variably compliant, parents frequently implement a series of reactive punishments such as, “That’s it!!! You’re finished with video games until further notice,” or “You’re grounded this weekend,” or some other variation of these.

How does the kid react to this?

Does he go off and reflect, “Gee, I know my parents are right. I deserve to have my video system taken away. I’ll start doing my homework more consistently.”

I doubt it.

More likely he is ruminating on the unfairness of it all with some type of internal dialogue like:

This is so unfair. Their stupid punishments won’t work. I can’t believe they are doing this. I’ll show them. I’m not going to do the stupid work no matter what they do. They can’t make me.

Anger is a powerful emotion, so we need to be careful about how we try and manage it. Many parents will try and negatively reinforce the anger, however, this can add to the problem sometimes. If this anger is truly becoming a problem, it might be worth getting in touch with those at Citron Hennessey, for example, to see if they could help. Often, psychotherapy clinics can be extremely useful for people to learn how to manage this anger themselves. That could be useful for people struggling with anger.

 

Takeaway Point

ADHD/ADD is real. So is anger. It’s important to try and sort them out if you can.

(In next blog we will talk about some of the ways.)

 

Adapted: “School Struggles,” Richard Selznick, Ph.D. (2012), Sentient Publications

Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up – An Interview With Dr. Braaten

by | Aug 20, 2014 |

Franklin, age 8, can build wonderful Lego cities.  A creative and thoughtful child, he is also a wealth of information when it comes to anything about nature – he can talk about swamps like no one’s business.  The problem is Franklin is having trouble keeping up in school.   For him, completing worksheets, carrying out multiple-step tasks and performing any writing activities are a laborious and challenging process.

Even though they were not in a position to diagnose him, Franklin’s teachers were pretty convinced he was “ADHD.”   Franklin’s parents then took him to a neurologist,  but a trial period on simulant medication did not seem to have much of an effect on him.

When I evaluated Franklin and found him to be sluggish in practically everything that required a degree of efficiency.  Tasks that normally took five minutes, took nearly 15 or 20.  On paper and pencil processing speed measures, Franklin only scored in the 10th percentile (compared with his 90th %ile verbal and spatial thinking).

Poor Franklin just couldn’t keep up in school and he was getting frustrated each day, as he had to bring home work that wasn’t completed on almost a daily basis.

Related to the topic at hand, I am excited to let you know that I recently interviewed Dr. Ellen Braaten, an expert on the topic of kids with processing speed problems like Franklin’s.   Dr. Braaten appeared on my internet radio show, “School Struggles,” which is a part of the Coffee Klatch network (www.thecoffeeklatch.com).

The interview will air on 9/2 & 9/3 at 8:00 p.m est.  It will also be available after that date on the Coffee Klatch site.

Dr. Braaten is a psychologist and director of the Learning & Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at  Massachusetts General Hospital and Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School.  Dr. Bratten is the author of “Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up. ”

Here’s a quote from Dr. Braaten’s wonderful book:

Processing speed isn’t a one-dimensional concept. It’s not just about how we see, or how fast we write or how fast we can process what we’ve heard. It’s really a combination of all those factors. In fact, processing speed deficits can be observed in visual processing, verbal processing and motor speed. Problems in one or more of these areas can manifest in problems with academic fluency and general difficulties.  However, it is rare to be slow at all of the above….In every day life there is a cost to processing everything more slowly.

Within the first interview, Dr. Braaten discusses some of the more common variables with processing speed weaknesses. In the second one, she highlights how parents and teachers can approach children with processing speed weaknesses.  She also reviews her model of,  “The Three A’s of Processing Speed.”

For more information about the interview, please go to:

http://thecoffeeklatch.com/bright-kids-who-cant-keep-up-guest-dr-ellen-b…

You can also access the interview through my website:  www.shutdownlearner.com.

“Lost at Sea:” Executive Function Weaknesses

by | Aug 1, 2014 | ,

Every 10 years or so in education and psychology there is a trendy hot topic or new term that was essentially unheard of the previous decade. Before learning disabilities became a hot term in the 1970s, these were virtually unknown in the public. The same was true with ADHD, which became a hot term in the mid-1980s into the 1990s. (I know, I know, I am dating myself.)

Executive function deficits is one of those terms.  Prior to 2005 or so, very few people were making reference to executive functions in the real world. Whereas now  the term is becoming more commonplace. Parents will even state upfront (before the child has even been tested) that they think the child has problems with executive functioning.

While I tend to be one who does not embrace too many hot trends, this conceptualization of  why children struggle makes a lot of sense to me and think it should be understood better.

When I work with parents, I do all I can to stay away from jargon, preferring to translate into metaphors terms that are casually tossed around with imagery that parents can better understand.

For example, trying to explain executive function deficits to parents, I use the imagery that the kid’s “boat is being steered by a very floppy rudder.”  Another image I use to explain frontal lobe, executive function deficits, is a weak “orchestra leader-one that is being ignored.”

Take Mark, age 14, a ninth grader who is bright, creative, witty, charming and personable. Mark is an absolute pleasure on so many levels. However, when it comes to managing his time and facing his “pain” (i.e.,  his homework) on a day-to-day basis, it Mark has given his parents fits for number of years. The stress level on the household has become unbearable, getting worse every grade from latter elementary school to the present day.  Mark has a very tough time steering his boat and he is drifting around at sea aimlessly.

One of the challenges, kids like Mark are almost immune to becoming organized or to steer their boat more effectively.

From what I’ve seen, change can come in small, incremental steps.  If you focus on small steps in terms of mastering and internalizing different skills, then change can occur.

Executive function coaching can make a big difference in terms of targeting the specific skills. For example, Mark can be shown how to use and color code his calendar practice this skill over time (practicing to mastery).

One word of caution though.  The odds of success are very poor if this skill is being delivered by you as a parent. Kids are wired to tune out their parents.  They will fight you, resist you and basically show you how your approach doesn’t work.  They won’t do that with “hired gun,” that is, the coach. So, even though it will cost you, you will save a lot of grief and aggravation by finding someone who gets this approach of one baby step at a time.

In summary, keep your expectations modest, do a lot of deep breathing and you will get through the coming year.

(Adapted from “School Struggles,” Richard Selznick, Ph.D., 2012, Sentient Publications)

Structuring, Cuing & Guiding

by | May 23, 2014 |

“Marlene, just doesn’t follow directions.  You know when she goes into fourth grade there’s going to be no more hand-holding. ”

“All the kids in the class, but Benjamin, know what to do.  He really should be able to do the work.  After all, he is in 7th grade.”

“What is it with Kyle? It’s like he’s in a different time zone.  He should be more aware of time management.”

This “should talk” is ever unproductive. 

Sure, on average, by fourth, seventh  or  whatever grade, a child should  be pretty self-sufficient.  They should be following directions, managing their time, processing information independently.

But, that is on average. 

In a class of 20 or so kids, I expect about six of them (about 30%) to be having some type of difficulty.   Often the parents of the 30% hear something like this – “We’re not medical doctors, so we can’t diagnose, but maybe you should have this checked out.” 

The unspoken meta-message is, “Your child needs to be on medication.”

Not all of these kids need to be on medication. 

So what do these kids need?

In non-medical terms, they need structuring, cuing and guiding.  What that looks like is an adult (usually the teacher) providing a little more assistance than is needed on average by the 70% who are capably following along. 

At home, they may need a little more parent assistance than would normally be expected for a certain age. 

Sure, it would be nice if by fourth grade a child was fully independent, but many are not. 

The Marlene’s, Benjamin’s and Kyle’s mentioned above, need a bit more external support that would be expected for a given age.  It’s the external support that provides them with a percentage boost. 

I can see this in action with some aspects of the testing that I do.  For example, a child may be getting bogged down on a task and not see how to proceed.  A sense of confusion may kick in overloading the child.  At that point, I may cue a child in to the task, help a little, and perhaps show him a clue as to how to proceed.  Often,  I see the light bulb go off –  “Oh, I get it…that’s how you do this.”   

A little structuring, cuing and guiding goes a long way.

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