Recently an email came to us from the Maroochydore High School in Queensland, Australia. Included in the email was an audio phone message.
The school staff had voted unanimously to record the message on the school’s answering machine.
The message came about because the school implemented a policy requiring students to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework.
As it was explained, the school and teachers were being sued by parents requesting that their child’s failing grades be changed to passing grades, even though the children were absent 15-30 times (pre-coronavirus) during the semester and did not make up enough of the work from what they had missed to get passing grades
Recognizing that humor can be tricky (one person’s funny is another person’s offense), the following transcription of the phone message is cautiously offered:
“Hello, you have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting you to the right staff member, please listen to all of the following options before making your selection.”
- To lie about why your child is absent, Press 1.
- To make excuses for why your child did not do his homework, Press 2.
- To complain about what we do, Press 3.
- To swear at staff members, Press 4.
- To ask why you didn’t get information that has already been enclosed in your newsletter and several fliers that have been mailed to you, Press 5.
- If you want us to raise your child, Press 6.
- If you want to reach out, slap or hit someone, Press 7.
- To request another teacher for the third time this year, Press 8.
- To complain about bus transportation, Press 9.
- To complain about school lunches, Press 0.
If you realize the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his or her behavior, classwork and homework and it’s not your teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort, please hang up and have a nice day.”
Hope you are laughing too.