If you’re a parent with kids still under your roof or you are a parent with grown children, let me ask you this.

When you make comments or ask questions like the following, what kind of response do you get?


  • “Why haven’t you started your homework?”
  • “How come you never pay attention!!!???”
  • “All you do is whine and complain!!!!  Just get started!!!!”
  • “Your room’s a mess. I’m sick of picking up after you.”
  • “You and your sister are fighting again! Why can’t we ever have a peaceful dinner?”
  • “I told you before we got to the store to not run ahead and you completely ignored me!!! Why don’t you listen???”
  • “All you do is play Fortnite…I’m sick of your video game playing.”
  • “Why are you ignoring me all the time???”

Let’s say by the time the child is about 10 years old, with the literal thousands of comments, questions or complaints the parents have made like the ones above, has the child even once in the ten years responded to these with anything like:

“Gee, mom, you’re right. I should start my homework.  Thanks for reminding me.”

“Yes, my room is a chaotic mess and it will be good for me to put my things away.”

“I love my sister and I know that we are disrupting dinner, so we will be more supportive of each other from now on.”

“You know, dad, I have been overly addicted to playing Fortnite and I will start reducing my video game playing time so I can focus better on my school work.”

“You’re right, mom, I disregarded you when we went to the store last time and I will walk by your side today.”

Even though nagging and pecking never produce the desired result, they are the number one, “go-to” strategy used by parents everywhere (followed closely behind by yelling as the most used strategy).

On and on it goes with no positive result.  So why do we do it?

There have to be more effective alternatives.

Take Away Point

Turn down the “PNQ” –   the “Parent Nag Quotient.”  It is having zero impact.

In Part II of this post  in the next few weeks we will offer strategies more effective than the  “PNQ.”

Copyright, 2020 www.shutdownlearner.com
Questions or topics email Dr. Selznick.  Not in the South Jersey area? For a free 15 Minute Consultation, contact Dr. Selznick: email – rselznick615@gmail.com.